Monday, June 12, 2006

Mama Knows Best

Have you ever had that moment of utter and complete fear when your heart felt so big and beat so hard that you felt like it was going to jump into your throat?

On the first day of the Jaipur trip, Ayaan fell out of the cot. I was listening on the baby monitor, waiting for him to fall asleep when all of a sudden I heard a loud crash and a wail. I ran into the room to find him sitting on the floor and crying his heart out. I think I died a little in that moment. I picked him up and started to calm him but before I knew it, I was crying harder than he was. I felt terrible – scared that the fall might have done some lasting damage to my poor baby and guilty that I had left him in the cot, despite my instinct that it wasn’t entirely safe.

Ayaan has slept in this very same cot every time we go to Jaipur but this time he was much taller than the last time and also much more active so we measured our cot at home and realised that the one in Jaipur was shorter by 5 inches. It didn’t seem like much but I was tempted to take the travel cot along anyway. I finally decided not too for a couple of reasons. To start with, my mother told me that Ayaan would be okay since we (my brother and I) had slept in the very same cot till we were over two years old. But the major reason was much sillier than that. Ever since Ayaan was born, I have been getting a lot of flak from my family about how I am paranoid about him and that I worry too much him. Unfortunately, I picked this instance to care about what other people think and let that override my concern for Ayaan’s safety.

Anyway, Ayaan is fine. Thankfully, he fell on his bottom and not on his head. The doctor said that internal damage could be ruled out since Ayaan had none of the symptoms (inconsolable crying, vomiting and/ or convulsions). But my heart skips a beat (and not in a good way) every time I think about what could have happened…

I think I learnt an important lesson. It doesn’t matter what other people think about my parenting approach and skills. Ayaan is my responsibility and I need to trust my instincts as far as he is concerned. I know him better than anyone else in the world and I need to use this knowledge to keep him happy and safe.

18 comments:

  1. I have also learnt my lesson as a grandmother. The mother is the best person to understand her child. I must learn not to interfere in his bringing up. Things have changed since you all were young. Good lesson for me. Hope I stick to my resolution.

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  2. I know where you are coming from. We, as mothers, are more tuned to our child's needs and requirements. We (my husband and I) have been through the same thing with my extended family - it was like an uphill climb every time we made a decision regardig our daughter. Thankfully, over time they have come to realize as well that I (and my husband) know best.

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  3. awwww!
    Am so glad hes fine!!!
    And I completely agree with you--guess mom's have the best instinct and with kids its best to trust your own instinct than anything else!

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  4. [Patti] Without your interference (read nagging), life would not be the same. So keep at it and I shall learn in time when to trust my judgement and when to trust yours.

    [Gettingthere] I know what you mean. Everything small thing is such a huge discussion with everyone. I guess it'a just the beginning for me and things are sure to settle down

    [Ekta] So am I. Would have never forgiven myself if he's got hurt!

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  5. Hey, one of my friends told me that she used to be hyper about her first kid and people used to laugh at her paranoia. but about 3 years later when the second kid came along, she was much more chilled out about him and didn't worry that much because she knew what risks could be taken and what not. She says she treated the first kid like a piece of delicate crystal and the second sort of like a sack of potatoes. Maybe you will be the same (though knowing you, i doubt it).

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  6. Glad Ayaan is fine Rohini!

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  7. I remember the time my sister fell down from her bed. The worst three minutes of my life!

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  8. When Jude was nine months old, he fell off a low couch and hit his head on a cement floor. It was TOTALLY like "dying a little" for me, too. I was sick to my stomach, and to this day, I can hear the sound of that gut-wrench thud of bone-on-concrete reverberating in my memory. However, he cried for about 10 minutes, then was totally fine, and we were able to go out for dinner.

    I'm so glad that kids are so much more resilient than we give them credit for. And I am also so glad that Ayaan is okay.

    Have a great day! (night there, now.)

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  9. That's so scary! Hope he's ok. Too bad there wasn't a Ginga on the floor to catch him ;)

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  10. [Panu] Scary, isn't it?

    [Talena] I can totally relate. It really is gut-wrenching. Especially at this age when you feel so responsible and guilty for everything that happens to them.

    [Mosilager] Well Buddy and Beanz were there but they don't have the advantage of Ginga's size :)

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  11. My parents and sisters used to make fun of me how regulated and cautious we were with Matt. I think I would worry if a first-time parent wasn't considered over cautious by others. It's our jobs as parents to try and make their lives as safe as possible.

    I will say that if you have another you will see that you will be different about things. This is probably why the 2nd child is a daredevil compared to the first.

    Bottom line: Don't second guess yourself. Your instincts will rarely fail you.

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  12. [Mint] I too get a lot of flak from everyone since I am very particular about how and when Ayaan does everything. I have been called paranoid, a control freak and compared to Monica (from friends)! But lesson learnt - always better to err on the side of caution...

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  13. hey... thanx for coming over to my humble blog.

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  14. *HUG*

    turn a deaf ear to people who say you over-react.

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  15. [Punkster] Thanks :)

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  16. Mamma's indeed know best! :)

    And can moms ever not over-react?! :D

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  18. [Primalsoup] So true. have so much more empathy for my mom's fits and freaks now.

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