Thursday, January 11, 2007

A Not So Happy New Year

As usual, I have been away for longer than planned. Life has been really chaotic and confusing.

Just at the end of the year, there was shockingly bad news. My cousin (all of 23 years old) died in a car crash in Delhi. I am still finding it hard to come to terms with the news. This is the kind of thing you read all the time in the newspapers and never ever imagine that it will touch your family. I wasn’t too close to my cousin – too many years and miles between us but I grew up with my aunt. Before her marriage, she used to live with us and had quite a substantial role in my early upbringing. More than anything else, the mother in me just cannot find a way to deal with this. Losing a child is probably one of the worst things that can happen to a person, especially a mother. I know now from experience, how becoming a mother completely changes your life and makes you above all else, first and foremost, a mother. Having to cope with that being snatched from you so suddenly and unexpectedly is beyond all imagination.

In other news, we have moved and we brought in the New Year in our very own house. Most of the packing and moving was ably handled by Jai since I had to rush to Delhi upon hearing the news about my cousin. But everything has been pretty piecemeal. We still have to put up the shelves, wipe the paint off the taps, unpack the books, put up paintings, and so on. It’s liveable but it’s not complete and everything is not in its place. I still feel like I am living in someone else’s house while they are away.

Meanwhile, someone crashed into our car one night while it was parked. So the car boot won’t close and it’s now sitting in the workshop and we have to manage with auto rickshaws and the like. And a power surge destroyed the motherboard of our TV which then had to be repaired. Moreover, one of my maids is going on leave to her village for a couple of weeks – I am keeping my fingers crossed that she comes back.

Now I know what they mean when they say, “When it rains, it pours.”


  1. I'm hoping that all this bad stuff will go away and the rest of 2007 with be joyful. All the best with that house setting up thing -all these months on I am still doing it and we are not yet done!!!

  2. it is scant consolation to say this too shall pass... but words are so inadequate... here's wishing peace for the bereaved family...

    on a more cheerful note... congratulations on the new house.. we are years away from our own!!!!

    and most of all.. all the best with the maid.. its going to be a nightmare if she goes AWOL!

  3. Sorry about the all the tragedies.Life goes on,may you have the strengh to cope with it!

    Congratulations on owning your own home,that's a great news!:))

  4. Life throws in plenty of curveballs. Sorry about your loss.

    Congrats on the new place. Owning a place is the best feeling in the world.

  5. I'm so sorry about your cousin Rohini.. hope this messy time passes soon for you all.

  6. So sorry about your cousin, hope your family gains the strength to recover soon from this tragedy and remember the good times.

    I'm sure there will be new memories in the house soon... and it's likely that Ayaan won't remember any of the previous places that you stayed in.

  7. Really sorry to hear about your cousin. I hope the family finds the strength to recover from this loss.
    As for your home - I'm sure you will soon fill it with memories - and then it will seem like your own.

  8. [30in2005] I hope so. Can't help feeling a little superstitious about the way the year has started though...

    [Madmomma] Thankfully, she is the second maid and not the nanny. With her gone, life is just more tiring. If the nanny were to go, I would have to quit my job!

    [Asha] Thanks.

    [Big Zed] It really is a great feeling, owning your own house. We have put loads of effort and thought behind every little thing and it shows...

    [Sapna] I guess we will all move on. It's my Bua (aunt) who has to find the strength to cope with it

    [Mosilager] You are right. Since we plan to be in this house atleast for the next 7-8 years, if not more - it is the first home that Ayaan will remember

    [Something to say] More than the memories, I need everything to fall in place. Right now, it's a still a struggle to find stuff and remember which switch works for the fan and which for the light...

  9. sorry about your cousin. my heart goes out to your aunt.
    when i was in class 11 one of my classmate's older brother passed away in an accident. tragedies like this effect everyone in the family in the most drastic way.
    i hope your aunt can find her peace.

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  11. So Sorry to hear about ur cousin & ur car. I hope your rest of year will be great.

    And congrats on ur new place:-)

  12. totally emphathize, am so sorry to hear about your cousin. one of my cousins died last summer, he was only 31... i pray for your strength and courage!

  13. I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin. Best wishes for an improving year and thanks for stopping by to visit.

  14. I am so sorry to hear about your cousin.

  15. Yikes! With a year that starts like that, one can hope it only gets better from there!

    I am sorry about your cousin. But I am so glad you are finally in your own house! Unpacking with a baby around can be a challenge, but I can't wait to see some photos when it starts to look more presentable. And I hope that the bad luck turns, like, yesterday. Hugs to you and your family! Happier New Year!

  16. [Sudha] You are right. It affects everyone in the family. You start feeling m,uch more vulnerable because so far you always assumed that this happened to other people and would never touch your family.

    [Mommyof2/ Beks/ Shilpa/ Lady M] Thanks

    [Talena] I hope so too!! House starting to resemble a home now. Will post pics soon.

  17. i'm so sorry about your cousin. and the other problems that you've been having.
    the good thing though is that it can only get better here on. stay positive!

  18. HI Rohini....I am really sorry to hear about your cousin. You are right in saying that once a mother, you are first and formost a mother always!

    Congratukations on your own home and the big move. I was just imagining how much of fun, aside from the hard work and piecemeal progress of course, it is to do all those things little by little and seethe transformation in slow motion to your own cosy nest. Hope you'll post pictures once you are done.

    Hope all else falls into place quickly.

    Take care.

  19. [Mona] Thanks

    [Tharini] Absolutely. This is the first time I have ever stayed in my own house. Even my parents had transferable jobs, so it is really the first time that I have invested time and money in making sure that everything is just so. Will post the pics once the house looks a little more presentable.

  20. Damn! That's quite a lot to handle Rohini! I am really sorry to hear about your cousin. *Hugs*

    Congratulations on the new home. It must be so much fun setting it does Ayaan like the place? He must be having a blast exploring his new digs...


  21. Rohini,
    Very sorry to hear about your cousin. It is the worst kind of pain I think - losing a child. I feel very sorry for your aunt. I hope she is able to cope with this..
    Congratulations on your new home. Wish you the best of times and many happy events in your new home.

  22. [Nee/ Noon] Thanks. Ayaan loves the new house as it is bigger and I have even got rid of some furniture to ensure that he has enough place to run about and play.

  23. my condolences. and congrats for the new house. me too maid less - i know how it feels.

  24. Hey rohini,
    Wishing both of u a happy new yr and looks like the new yr was bought in with tonnnes happening!
    Congrats on moving to ur own place!

  25. sorry about the loss- yes i agree it is terrifying to even hear about such things now that i am a mom

    but congrats on the new place and new beginnings

    am sure the maid will be back

  26. I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin.

    Congrats on the new house! It's fun when it's new and shiny and you feel like you're on vacation.

    Sending you good vibes.

  27. [Itchingtowrite] To be honest, it's just one of my two and a half maids that is on leave. But she is the live-in one so it just means that life is exhausting once the nanny leaves for the day.

    [Ekta] Thanks

    [Artnavy] I think she will be - she didn't take all her clothes with her - which is always a good sign.

    [Mint] Not quite on vacation... there's still so much to be done!

  28. I am sorry to hear about your cuz Rohini. May his/her soul rest in peace

    Many congratulations on moving in :) So are the doors painted/laminted as per the walls or the furniture !?

    Pliss to show pictures

  29. Very sorry to hear about your cousin. You are right - once you have kids, this kind of news hits hard. Especially when it is so close to home.

    Congratulations on the new home - post pictures soon. Don't worry that the walls are still bare and there is still paint drops on faucets and window sills - I love the "new home feel" that such things generate.

    Good luck with the maid :P I know how life gets turned upside down when they go on vacation.

  30. [Once Again] Doors have veneer and polish to match the furniture. Will post the pics once things look a little more complete and presentable

    [Gettingtherenow] Then you are obviously not the control freak that I am - the paint drops are freaking me out. We are planning to get rid of them this weekend.

  31. It's weird but I was feeling so upbeat about 2007 and we started the year with termites (I lost some cherished books) and quite few illnesses and one bad accident among people close to me.

    I hope all the bad stuff gets over quickly. And I'm really sorry for your aunt.

  32. [Sue] Hope so too - for you as well! You shoudl get the PCI (pest Control of India) termite treatment done - it is pretty effective.