The old 'The grass is greener on the other side of the fence' proverb might just have been thought up by a mother. It happens to me all the time with Ayaan - I crib about something or the other and wish things would change but when they do, I am left yearning for the earlier scheme of things. A recent example...
After 8 months of daily stress and struggle without any full time help, I finally found and employed a new maid, who joined us last week. When she came to meet me, I took an instant liking to her. As did Ayaan, who invited her to come to his room to play with him. Needless to say, that was the moment of truth and the rest of the 'interview' was a mere formality. Now here's the thing. Ever since she came, Ayaan has been quite happy to let me do my own thing while he plays with her. And after 8 months of not having an Ayaan-free moment outside of work and his sleeping hours, I have found myself with time on my hands. And instead of the huge sigh of relief that's been a long time coming, I am left feeling strangely bereft...
And it's happened so many times, I've lost count. But here are some instances I remember:
- I waited for him to talk. And now there are times when he talks my ears off and I wish he would just keep quiet for just five minutes and let me nurse the headache I have got from his constant banter and from coming up with answers to his endless questions.
- I watched with bated breath as he took his first steps. And was soon longing for the days when he couldn't reach and destroy my posessions or worrying that he would hurt himself.
- I look forward to the occassional long distance trip to get a much-needed break but I am usually yearning to get back before the first day is over.
- I keep wanting him to learn to self-feed. But when he does attempt it, he makes such an unholy mess, I am tempted to hop right in and feed him myself.
And so life goes on. You can never accuse me of being easily satisfied.