Thursday, September 11, 2008

The Grass on the Other Side

The old 'The grass is greener on the other side of the fence' proverb might just have been thought up by a mother. It happens to me all the time with Ayaan - I crib about something or the other and wish things would change but when they do, I am left yearning for the earlier scheme of things. A recent example...

After 8 months of daily stress and struggle without any full time help, I finally found and employed a new maid, who joined us last week. When she came to meet me, I took an instant liking to her. As did Ayaan, who invited her to come to his room to play with him. Needless to say, that was the moment of truth and the rest of the 'interview' was a mere formality. Now here's the thing. Ever since she came, Ayaan has been quite happy to let me do my own thing while he plays with her. And after 8 months of not having an Ayaan-free moment outside of work and his sleeping hours, I have found myself with time on my hands. And instead of the huge sigh of relief that's been a long time coming, I am left feeling strangely bereft...

And it's happened so many times, I've lost count. But here are some instances I remember:

  • I waited for him to talk. And now there are times when he talks my ears off and I wish he would just keep quiet for just five minutes and let me nurse the headache I have got from his constant banter and from coming up with answers to his endless questions.
  • I watched with bated breath as he took his first steps. And was soon longing for the days when he couldn't reach and destroy my posessions or worrying that he would hurt himself.
  • I look forward to the occassional long distance trip to get a much-needed break but I am usually yearning to get back before the first day is over.
  • I keep wanting him to learn to self-feed. But when he does attempt it, he makes such an unholy mess, I am tempted to hop right in and feed him myself.

And so life goes on. You can never accuse me of being easily satisfied.


  1. Wow! these kids almost seem to follow a behavior pattern, yet they are so different individually that the same solution does not work for each one and you have to keep thinking of ways to get them to do what you want :)Have experienced all the things you mentioned and some more ;)HUGS and we will soon find the way!

  2. lol. glad you are getting some breather.. you have such a gruelling schuedule. The newness of the maid will soon pass and Ayaan will be back hounding you :)

  3. It's not easy being with them and its not easy being without them too. He will come back to you, when he is over the new maid.

  4. Ahh it happens. Then they grow up and you normally meet them at the door as they are always going out somewhere or coming back at unearthly hours. Such is life

  5. This sounds eerily like the husband wife thing. wife - don't do that, do this. husband - ok (and does it). wife - why did you do this ? husband - eh ? women are from another planet and we will never ever understand them.

    (ok now i'm going to duck to escape the things that will be thrown at me)

  6. Sigh, it is always greener. I keep wishing for my kids to grow up and now when I am dealing with my oldest's and her issues(and she is only 9) I wish that I only make simple decisions, whethe to start with bananas or spinach, whether to sign up for soccer or basketball. I keep thinking that the stuff I am subjecting my kids to will send them to a therapist 20 yrs down the line..

  7. if you randomly picked two patches of grass on either side of the fence it has to have similar amounts of chlorophyll right?

  8. Such is life, Ro!
    And not just with kids- with most relationships- the 'now' is the tough part!

  9. [Anu] Yeah, but as soon as we figure one thing out, I am sure they will come up with something else to confound us ;-)

    [Dottie/ Shobana] Oh, I have no doubt about that. Started today. Major meltdown when it was suggested that he play with the husband and maid in the morning while I had a bit of a sleep-in

    [Phoenixritu/ Asaan] Shoo! Don't frighten me. Definitely don't want to think that far...

    [Mona] :-)

    [Mosilager] Yeah. Good idea. The ducking, that is ;-)

    [Choxbox] LOL! Yeah, but it's all about perception rather than reality na...

    [Dipali] True :-)

  10. Life is a package of ups & downs no matter I/You/They like it or not but we have to cross i.e, y enjoy !!!

  11. So true so true. Just got back to work fulltime at the office and the brat isnt even bothered that Im not around. Breaks my heart. I thought I meant more to him than that, but thats just what I was, I guess, a convenience.... *sobs dramatically*

  12. oh well!!

    i am battling turf wars with amma who takes care of Cubby!! :(

    the time he didnt want godi we said he hates godi and now he is so lingy we wish he would play on his own!! hehe!!

    c'est la vie! yet to reach the salf feed etc stage! but looking at the mess he makes with one monaco biscuit, i can only imagine!



  13. I SO hear ya'. The list WILL just keep getting longer, too! :-)

  14. sigh.. i guess perfection doesnt exist!! thats like the saying.. we are born with our eyes shut and our mouth open and spend the entire rest of our life.. trying to reverse that!!!!

  15. [Hobo] So true

    [Sue] :-)

    [Kiran] Nah! He's just growing up and you know how we mothers hate it when that happens! ;-)

    [Abha] Monaco? Wait till it's nice, messy stuff like curds. And dal... there isn't a single T-shirt left without haldi stains...

    [Talena] Scary thought that

    [Grafx] :D