Wednesday, February 13, 2008

The Highs and Lows of Celebrating

The Good: How to Celebrate a Friend’s Pregnancy

  • Put together a list of female friends who need to be invited with help from other friends and the father-to-be. Call/ mail the ladies to finalise a date and some division of responsibilities.
  • Arrange a clandestine meeting with the friend’s husband to get hold of the house keys.
  • Get the father-to-be to take his wife out for lunch on the D-day.
  • Get everyone to arrive an hour before their anticipated return.
  • Decorate the place with banners, balloons and leftover Pooh decorations from one of the kids’ birthday parties.
  • Organise baby-sized food – mini sandwiches, petit four deserts, cocktails samosas...
  • Greet the gobsmacked mommy-to-be with balloons under our T-shirts.
  • Get her to cut a cake (the initial plan was to get a baby-themed cake but that didn’t work out)
  • Bring on the decoy gift – a diaper filled with peanut butter, nicely wrapped up with fancy wrapping paper. Guffaw at the look of disgust on the mommy-to-be’s face and assure her that there is far yuckier stuff in her not-to-distant future.
  • Play lots of fun, baby-themed games:
    1. Guess Mummy’s Tummy’s Size: Record everyone’s guesses and have a measuring tape handy to choose the winner.
    2. Guess the baby items: Fill a bag with baby-related stuff and people have to guess all the items to win. This game can have hilarious results if there are lot of non-mommies in the group – a finger toothbrush may get classified as an eyebrow brush (because which baby doesn’t need a good eyebrow brushing once in a while!) and a nasal aspirator may be guessed to be a horn for a toy automobile!
    3. Baby Bingo: Like regular Bingo or Housie but with pictures baby items in the cells instead of numbers on the cards.
    4. Pin the Pacifier the Baby: Players are blindfolded and given a pacifier in their hands. The one who gets it closest of the mouth of the baby wins.
    5. Bottoms Up: Fill baby bottles with equal amounts of apple juice and the first one to finish wins - it is surprisingly hard to drink from a baby bottle!
  • Have baby bottles/ cups filled with candy as gifts for the winners of each game.
  • Bring on the actual gifts for the mom and baby.
  • Sit around and chat for a bit.
  • Clean up the place before leaving so that the poor pregnant lady is not left to deal with the post-party mess.

The Bad: How Not to Celebrate Your Bloggiversary

  • Completely miss the day on which you started blogging two years ago.
  • Remember only when one of your oldest blog pals happens to mention that he forgot his as well.
  • Wistfully watch on the sidelines while people who started blogging way after you did breezily cross the 100-post mark while you languish in the late nineties. (A belated look at my profile tells me this will be my 100th post! Yay! Finally!)
  • Vow to post more frequently and go back on said vow by not posting for three weeks. [Edit: Just saw this post on Blogging Without Obligation and couldn't agree more - I am totally going with the 'Less is More' stand]

The Ugly: How to Definitely Not Celebrate Your Husband’s Birthday

  • Happen to be travelling on the D-day.
  • Wake up late and have precisely 30 minutes to eat breakfast, get dressed, packed, checked out and into the conference room to run the workshop.
  • In the process, let it completely slip your mind that it happens to be the husband’s birthday.
  • Rush through the day so that you can conclude the workshop in time to catch the flight back home.
  • Finally have a moment of peace on the way to the airport and then get hit by the blinding realisation of one’s stupidity, forgetfulness and selfishness
  • Feel even worse on remembering that you had actually called the husband in the midst of the morning rush to bark some orders at him and didn’t remember wish him.
  • Call him to apologise and beg for forgiveness. He is totally cool about it and says that he was only ‘a little hurt’ after the morning call – feel like an even bigger ass than if he had raved and ranted.
  • Land back into Mumbai late in the night and search for some way to make it up.
  • Find an open Barista on the way home and buy one of their last remaining cupcakes.
  • Happen to spot a florist and also buy a single rose.
  • Rush home and cobble together this pathetic excuse for a birthday celebration:

So there it is. Feeling a bit idiotic about the birthday debacle. So come on, make me feel better – tell me about some of your celebration disasters. Or am I alone?