Thursday, June 11, 2009

In Conversation with Ayaan about the Baby

I am happy to announce that the brat has moved on from his gory obsession about his mother being cut up and we have been having a lot of fun, stimulating conversations about the baby. I am going to record some of them here for posterity...

On Gender Preference

Ayaan: Can we get a baby brother?
Mama: We can’t choose, baby. We will only know when the baby comes. What if it is a baby sister?
Ayaan: Well, ok then.

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On Gestation Periods

Ayaan: Mama, when is the baby going to come?
Mama: In October.
Ayaan: *brings his calendar* Show me on my calendar
Mama: *marks out 24th October on his calendar* The baby will come around this day
Ayaan: No. no. That’s too far. Can’t he come in June?

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On Equality of Discipline

While watching TV and being told to move back…
Ayaan: When the baby watches TV from too close, you shout at him also and tell him to sit back, okay?
Mama: Okay

After a little accident, followed by a scolding from Mama…
Ayaan: When the baby does susu* in his undies, you shout at him also, ok?
Mama: But when the baby is small, he can’t control his susu and he will do it in his diaper. So we have to wait a bit for him to grow up and learn to do it in the potty
Ayaan: Ok

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On the Biology of Pregnancy

Dinner table conversation…
Ayaan: Mama, when the baby does susu inside you, does it come out in your undie? Then do you have to go and change your undie?
Mama: No, baby. We all have a bladder (you have one too), where the susu collects till the bladder gets full and then we go and do susu in the bathroom. So the baby’s susu also goes to Mama’s bladder and comes out when she goes to the bathroom. (OK I know this is not technically true but I didn’t think he would get the whole peeing in amniotic fluid thing just yet)
Ayaan: And what about foodie? How does the baby eat foodie?
Mama: When Mama eats, some of that food goes to the baby. There is a pipe from Mama’s stomach to the baby’s stomach and the food goes directly to the baby’s stomach (again, a gross simplification but I don’t think I know much more than that either…)
Ayaan: Does the baby eat carrot?
Mama: Yes. He eats everything that Mama eats.
Ayaan: Does he eat chappati? *rinse and repeat till he runs out of his list of known edible items*
Ayaan: But Mama, you don’t eat chocolate and meetha** things? You must eat some otherwise the baby also won’t get any meetha things to eat…

After he bumped into my knee…
Ayaan: Sorry. Baby got hurt?
Mama: The baby’s not in my knee. He’s in my stomach…
Ayaan: But he must be going for a walk to your knees sometimes, na?
!!!

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On Sharing:

While playing in his room:
Ayaan: When the baby comes, I’ll keep my toys in this drawer and the baby’s toys can be in that other drawer.

While eating his post-dinner chocolates, which he gets to eat on Mondays and Thursdays
Ayaan: When the baby comes, we’ll give him chocolate on Mondays and Thursdays also
Mama: But when the baby is small, he won’t have any teeth so he can’t eat the things that you can. He will have only have milk till his teeth grow.
Ayaan: Ok. But when he becomes big and his teeth grow, then we’ll give him chocolate on Mondays and Thursdays?

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Preparing for the baby:

After we read this book, which had a page on feeding the baby and mentioned that some babies are breastfed and some are bottle-fed.
Ayaan: Mama, when our baby comes, we will give him milk from a bottle, ok?
Mama: No, baby. I will feed him from my breast like in the other picture?
Ayaan: No, no, the bottle is better
Mama: But the milk in the bottle is not as healthy as the milk in Mama’s breast
Ayaan: Ok. But when the milk in your breast gets over, then we will give him a bottle, ok?

When he was at my mum’s place in Jaipur, he found one of his old baby hair brushes. And decided that he will keep it for the baby.
Ayaan: Dekho***, Mama. I kept this brush for the baby.
Mama: Very good. Why don’t you tell him? *pointing to my stomach*
Ayaan: *to my stomach* Baby, I kept this brush for you.
Mama: The baby said ‘Thank You’

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Catching Out Mama’s Lies

A few days after the brush episode…
Ayaan: Mama, what is the baby saying now?
Mama: *having completely forgotten about the previous conversation* Sweetie, the baby can’t talk yet. He will start talking only after he comes out and grows up a little. In fact, you will have to help me teach him.
Ayaan: But that day, you said that he said Thank You…
Mama: Er….

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*Susu = Pee
** Meetha = Sweet
***Dekho = See

P.S. We are not talking about the baby in any particular gender but Ayaan tends to use the male Hindi verbs when referring to him, as do I. Hence the baby has been referred to as a 'he' in the conversations above, which were conducted in a mix of Hindi and English but I have translated for convenience and easier reading for all...

37 comments:

  1. These are sure for keeps :)

    Loved the one where baby goes to the knee for a walk :) ha ha !

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  2. rofl. Love the chocolate wala.

    I used the same explantions abt the placenta and how the baby would come out. Has he asked how did the baby get into your stomach?

    That one was hard for me. I simplified sex to a kiss and sperm to a seed and they grew together in my tummy.Avasha was the same age when she asked these questions.

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  3. AWWWWWWWW!!! How precious! So glad you recorded these :D

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  4. These are indeed treasured conversations ... will bring a smile on your face when you read later :)

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  5. First time commenting Rohini and due in October too :) (slightly earlier than you). Glad Ayaan will have a buddy soon and hope your pregnancy progresses well!

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  6. Gems these are....
    Ayan is adorable. I loved his susu worries. Kids are so logical even as early as 2-3. :)
    And hope you are doing better...

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  7. this is adrable! & he's asking all sensible questions. "come down to knee for a walk" LOL!

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  8. I am going to comment on three posts at the same time, since i end up reading them so late!

    BELATED VERY HAPPY B'DAY to Ayaan. My brat will be 4 next month..Gosh how time flies.

    I hope you and Ayaan have recovered and lots of health wishes coming your way. Stay healthy and enjoy :))

    The conversations are priceless. I should stop procastinating & take the trouble too to record the gems :(

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  9. I love this boy! He is just too sweet.

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  10. Tell Ayaan, the doctors and other such technical bores might not agree, but i used to think my baby went for a walk all around my body too. Its our secret, Ayaan and mine- babies do go for a walk upto the knees!

    hope you are well and recovered- both of you!

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  11. i relate to a lot of this:D


    but we refer to the baby as it- not he or she....

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  12. Lovely conversations. I think you are not going to have any trouble when the baby is born. Ayaan is going to make the perfect brother :)
    Hope your health is better now.

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  13. Burst out laughing , even tho I was in office at the walk to the knees bit. Babies and their innocence are priceless!
    Love these conversations. Do continue them as a series. Am sure more gems will out from l'il Ayaan. :-D
    Ayaan is so sweet the way he reacts to the baby. :-)

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  14. Very sweet anecdotes..something to cherish all along. He sure will be a caring big brother. Don't worry about him, it is just that initially even after all these he will feel a little jealous, but over the time they will bond with each other like anything. You will enjoy all the stages.

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  15. hahaha...on the walk to the knees..so cute!

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  16. Funny and tender in equal parts. Esp liked how insistent he is about Bottle feeding. Jealousy huh? :)

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  17. that was too sweet... hats off to u for coping up with two babies at a time :)

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  18. such endearing conversations. verrry cute. kiss the big-bro-to-be for me. what a bright, bright child!! loved his logic.

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  19. can imagine how it must've made you smile!

    one of the plusses of a 4+ish age gap :)

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  20. Outstanding stuff! Are you feeling better now? When do you want to go out?

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  21. Very entertaining post, and I learned a new Hindi word.

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  22. Your son is very quick!

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  23. lol about the walk to the knees!! hope you both are feeling better now. take care, girlio!

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  24. [Aathira] :)

    [Asaan] Right now, he just wanted to know where the baby was going to come from. And I said I was growing it in my stomach. I am waiting on tenterhooks for the inevitable follow-up questions :)

    [Mamma Mia/ Cantaloupe's Amma] Yep. Definitely don't want to trust these just to my fuzzy memory :)

    [Girlonthebridge] Congrats! All the best for a comfortable rest-of-pregnancy and safe delivery :)

    [RT] The susu worries are my fave too :)

    [Kodi's Mom] I know! It amazing the stuff he's thinking up all by himself!

    [Anu] Thanks for the birthday and health wishes. Record your gems - it'll be fun to read...

    [Dipali] I'm glad someone other than his thoroughly biased mother thinks so :)

    [Sur] LOL! I can imagine Ayaan getting really confused if you and I have parallel conversations with him :D

    [Artnavy] I don't think Ayaan is thinking of the baby as a 'he' either, but in Hindi if you talk about something you have to assign it a male or a female verb...

    [Collection of Stars] I hope so. Health still leaves much to be desired. Cough refusing to go and fever over weekend means I am back on antibiotics :( - Ayaan mercifully is all fine now *touchwood*

    [Just Like That] Let's hope he continues to be sweet when the baby actually arrives and is a contender for my attention. :)

    [Manchus] Thanks for those reassuring words :)

    [Preeti] :)

    [Poppins] I was really surprised at that one too. Wondered about the jealousy angle too - probably is that since the breastfeeding picture in the book looks so much more cuddly/ snuggly than the bottle feeding one...

    [Tintin] Keep the hat on till I actually get around to coping with the two of them. Right now, one is harmlessly tucked away in my tummy :)

    [Pesto Sauce] :)

    [Dottie] Pretty cool logic, na?

    [Choxbox] True. I love the fact that we can have such sensible conversations about the baby and that he actually 'gets' it

    [Parul] Still muddling through this silly, persistent cough. But am always game for some yummy chole bhature. You say when.

    [Alan] Susu? LOL!

    [Gaellika] Thanks (on his behalf) :)

    [Noodlehead] Thanks. Ayaan's much better. I shall hopefully get there soon...

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  25. :)

    this HAD to be recorded! such adorable stuff!! :D

    cheers!

    abha

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  26. hahaha. Ro, the knee part had me in splits. He is surely turning out to be quite an inquisitive and caring bro. Touchwood!

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  27. such a sweet write up.. Rohini, i have told this before and am saying it now too,u make motherhood sound so much fun..

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  28. LOL!!! Good ones. I loved the one where he claims the baby goes around to the knee for walks :-) That one is a keeper :-)

    And oh btw - congratulations on your pregnancy. not sure if I wished you earlier.

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  29. Awww...So many questions, so difficult to answer, what a lovely time Ro....

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  30. so cute :D

    and walking upto the knee takes the cake

    but kudos u can answer all the questions

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  31. Hey you shared nice conversation between u two.

    Lingerie Bookmark

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  32. Aww.. so cute. Loved the knee talk :)

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  33. My nevvy's best!

    My other nevvy will be best too. (And if she's a niece dammit Ro I'll take her home with me, so I will.)

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  34. These are priceless! What impresses me most is how many conversations you could remember with "pregnancy brain!"

    :-D

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  35. Awww, sweetness! He's going to be one super awesome big bro.

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  36. These quotes are so funny! Always, when little kids say "smart" things! :D haha, so sweet!

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