Sunday, September 23, 2012

The Patented MamaSaysSo Weight Loss Plan

After my first pregnancy, the weight loss didn't come easy. Getting back to work with a young baby at home left me with no time to exercise or watch my diet. I did eventually get back to a size that I was happy with but I never came within spitting distance of my pre-pregnancy weight and there were a few pants from the old days that didn't fit me. Of course, then I went and got pregnant again...

My experience with post-pregnancy weight loss was very different the second time around. For starters, I breastfed for a whopping 23 months so that gave me a much longer 'grace period' where I didn't have to worry about my weight or control my food intake. But even after this, I didn't really have the bandwidth to consider my size, busy as I was with two kids and minimal domestic help.

A few months after I was done with breastfeeding, I started getting comments from people I bumped into - family and friends who had seen me when I still had all the baby weight. A lot of people remarked on how skinny I had become. I decided to dig out the clothes I had put away after my second trimester and try them on. To my surprise, I fit into everything with the exception of one pair of jeans from my college days that I have hung on to with foolish optimism. I even fit into the pants that didn't fit me between pregnancies. And my weight was down to just a couple of kilos over my pre-preggers weight.

I had not dieted a single day, or done anything that could be classified as formal exercise but yet, it was as if all that fat had simply melted away. Of course, that is not the way it really happened. So without much further ado, here is my list of surefire weight loss tactics:

  1. Move from Mumbai to a smaller city. Overcompensate for your years of living in small flats by moving into the biggest possible house you can afford, preferably a duplex flat for extra impact. Make multiple trips up and down stairs of duplex, thereby taking care of your daily cardio needs
  2. Not just any smaller city, move to Hyderabad, where finding a needle in a haystack is a walk in the park compared to finding reliable household help.
  3. Enroll your kids into a school that does not provide food or employ school buses. Wake up at the crack of dawn to prepare tiffins and act as personal chauffeur to your brats.
  4. Have on hand a clingy toddler who wants to be carried around a lot, and that's your weight training taken care of.
  5. Go through a parade of unreliable, unprofessional and unacceptable cooks and then decide to take on cooking yourself. Ignore the fact that you have never so much as sliced an onion before. Spend hours standing in the kitchen chopping and cooking simple meals that experienced cooks could probably turn out in a third of the time.
  6. Eat your own cooking. This one is a right appetite killer if you are a novice cook, especially if you don't have the bandwidth to cook separately for the adults and the kids with inbuilt spice sensors.
  7. Bring all your obsessive-compulsive tendencies to your current stint as homemaker. Beds must be made, dirty dishes must not be stacked overnight, kids clothes must not be ironed by dhobi, toys must be put away and so on. As a result, spend most of your non-cooking hours on your feet as well.
And voila! Before you know it, you will be back to your svelte, pre-pregnancy size with no extra effort. Just the other, unavoidable efforts of running a household.

28 comments:

  1. What a great plan! Though it may mean that there is no time left over for any svelte, glamour-type activities. :)

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  2. Ha ha... you don't know with how much hope I opened this post. I swear anything on weightloss and I'm a sure shot audience. Must check job prospects in Hyderabad.

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  3. Anonymous8:18 am

    you forgot the dog!
    Sravi

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  4. Hahaha..nice tips! I went to a nutritionist to lose weight!

    Only a bit surprised about your perception of Hyderabad since i am from Hyderabad and have studied there and love the place although currently am at Chennai..hope you start loving the place soon!

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  5. Hehe Yup it works partially !
    I do all the above and still the bleddy 3 month old tummy doesnt go! Maybe I have one kid and a dog less for that :D

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  6. Hahahaha! Loved this post!

    The irony of it all is that I just finished an hour of yoga and now I'm sitting with the comp to catch up on a few fave blogs; I saw the title to your post and voila! here I am, desperate for a few more tips :-)

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  7. Wah! I love this patented version

    Now I have only two things to do

    1. Move out of Bombay
    2. Get another kid

    and Viola! I will be think again..thanks Ro :)

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  8. Wait till you start loving your own cooking and then this whole plan might backfire ;-)

    BTW I am a lurker and nice to see you back to posting again

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  9. Hi Rohini, coming here after long time and good to see you back to blogging. Yay!!!

    I can't agree more to this post, well don't have a second baby but these are exactly thing I went through and back to my pre pregnancy cloths. When I went to GYM I hardly lost any pounds. My weight loss is documented here.
    http://weourlife.wordpress.com/2011/01/21/weight-tracking/

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  10. All I'll say is this - you really don't look like you have had two kids :)

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  11. Hahhahaa! Enjoyed reading this!

    Btw I am doing all of the points except point 7, I am not a natural homemaker, and let things be. ;--)
    Also eat out a lot!
    Bottomline though I reached my pre preg weight I am not at my desired weight yet, and it is HARD!

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  12. I totally agree about the "eat your own cooking" part. Avoiding eating out is a sure way for me to lose weight.

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  13. This type of weight loss plan will surely work 100% and if you continue to do this for a bit longer period, you may fit even in that Jeans from your college days!! :)
    Cheers :)

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  14. I think my liquid diet (courtesy the jaw repair) comes a close second as a weight loss plan!

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  15. Hi Rohini.. welcome back! I just happened to check your blog with very little hope of finding anything new, and was pleasantly surprised to see so many new posts. Keep writing girl! And congratulations on your dog-- you have given me hope.. sometime.. perhaps when we have a bigger house..

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  17. Anonymous12:36 am

    It is funny, but we routinely do this and much more here in the US. And yes, the weight does come off! But that being said, going to the gym is still on my list of things to do, since good weight training helps with stronger bones and muscles plus a little time away from home is always welcome.

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  18. Aha, yet another generation learns the positive side effects of being a harried house mama. I must say these unanticipated side effects are amazing. My fitness levels in Sing have increased since I walk to the MRT, Bus stop and everywhere! Unlike driving around in comfy old Bombay

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  23. It really works!!!! But when do you do the stuff you want to do????

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  25. Wow, I can say that your method really works! Great!

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  26. Thanks to you, I now know the secret of my own weight loss after pregnancy..it is point no. 4 described by you !!

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  28. WHew, sounds like a lot!!! But totally get you...... I loved the last part about the obsessive-compulsive tendency....

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