Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Lost Blogging Mojo

Somehow, for no logical reason that I can arrive at, I really haven't taken to Feedly. In the times of Google Reader, I regularly checked in and stayed on top of my feed, keeping track of what my favourite bloggers had written. When it went bust, I moved my feed over to Feedly but I find that I rarely go there. And when I do, the list of unread posts looks so daunting that I either hurriedly shut the browser tab or guiltily click on 'Mark as Read'. When I do gird my loins and dive into my feed, I realise that one of the things missing is that many of my favourite bloggers either hardly write any more or have given up the ghost entirely.

For me, reading other blogs was always very closely linked with how much I ended up blogging here in my own space and it's no surprise then that the action here has not so much dwindled to a trickle as pretty much dried up at source. There was a sense of community about blogging in those good only days. There was a lot of cross-talk and commenting and connecting going on. Those comments were important to me because they reassured me that I was not just writing into a void. The friendships I formed through this blog were important to me too but it's been a while since I connected with someone new through the blog and the friends I made in the early years are now friends independent of our blog personas.

From its name to its content, this has always been essentially a mommyblog. My first few (and most challenging) years as a mother were rather lonely. I wasn't a particularly young mother but even so, it was almost three years before any of my friends went ahead and had kids. And when they did, they were dealing with infants while I had moved on to making decisions about schooling and dealing with temper tantrums. This blog was a space where I could come and share my experiences and voice my opinions about being a parent. It was a place where I found kindred spirits who offered advice and much-needed validation that I wasn't making a complete hash of this parenting gig. But I've grown up a lot since those days and am quite comfortable now in my skin as far as being a mother goes. I know I am not a perfect mother (far from it) but I also know that I am doing the best I can and in line with my beliefs about raising good human beings.

And there's the beliefs themselves. It's hard to write about my parenting approach without coming off as sanctimonious or judgmental. When I go back and re-read some of my old posts, I often end up wincing at how preachy they sound. Other than the rare ones who can rise about it, most mommyblogs either bore your pants off with the minutiae of their kids' lives or not-so-subtly eulogise their own parenting while raining on the parade of those who chose to do things differently from them.

There is also this whole privacy thing. As they grow, I feel less comfortable with talking about the kids online. I didn't think it was such a big deal before and I don't have any regrets about the stuff I have already written, but now that they are older, I definitely think twice before I put anything up, even on Facebook or Twitter. Articles like this one have definitely been food for thought and I rarely post pictures of the kids themselves on Facebook anymore, though I do still put up posts/ pictures of stuff that they have said or done.

Call these reasons or call them excuses, but they pretty much sum up why I have been AWOL from this space. But I do miss it. There is no doubt that I enjoy writing. People often suggest I write a private journal instead but social media has completely ruined that for me and I need to know that someone is reading what I am writing.

But rationales aside, the blog often calls out to me in much the way a long-forgotten but lingering item on a to-do list does. Like it needs attention or closure or something. So here I am, answering its call. Anyone still reading?


26 comments:

  1. Yup, very much - to answer your Q :)

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  2. Anonymous4:51 pm

    Yes. Stop this self doubt and start writing again. You're fine, your writing is fine. Just continue!

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  3. I am here Ro. Very much so. You have put it very succinctly. With the kids growing up all of us have gotten comfortable in our roles. I think we all have graduated from the blogging scene because of the same reasons. We actually should have a graduation party on the lines of the baby shower we celebrated online :)

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  4. not because, for the same reasons.

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  5. Anonymous5:24 pm

    Yes! Did'nt I order you to write a blogpost for us some time back? Now write one already and do not try and pass this off as a post :)
    D

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  6. Reading! I miss that sense of community too.

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  7. Anonymous7:52 pm

    Yes...very much :) - Vishwa

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  8. Good to see some comments here. Thanks, guys :-)

    AA_Mom - Any excuse for a party, huh?

    D - Baby steps. This is my first post since May!!!

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  9. Roxana8:35 pm

    I do. I've been reading your blog for years now and though I haven't commented as much as I'd have liked to, your kids have been some of my favorite kids to read about, on the blogsphere. I've always enjoyed the seemingly laid-back but balanced approach you have to things and I wish you'd write more often!

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    1. Aw thanks Roxana. I sound more laid-back than I am - ask my kids!

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  10. Very much Rohini. Your posts of their younger years are beacons for new (er) moms like me!

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    1. Now you are scaring me!

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  11. Arre baba why is it an excuse. It took us all roughly six years, I cannot think of one single degree course which is of this duration, so it is an achievemen

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  12. Still here!
    Also, try Pocket Reader on your phone for Feedly feeds. As good as, if not better than Google Reader.

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  13. Arg, I wrote a long comment, and I'm pretty sure it vanished into cyberspace as soon as I tried to post it. Grr.

    It boiled down to "I feel the same way," "I still blog, but not about stuff my kids would be embarrassed if their friends found out about," and "You should blog about stuff, too, even if it is not parenting-related and means changing your blog name or starting a different one." :-)

    And, last but not least, "I'm glad I met you all those years ago."

    My blog has moved to a new personal website. In case you haven't been there yet, you can find my blog at http://www.talenawinters.com/wintersdayin.

    Hugs!

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    1. Hello! So good to hear from you. Yours was one of the first few blogs I read and bookmarked when I started exploring the blog world... shall drop by and visit your new space.

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  14. Anonymous10:18 am

    Yes!

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  15. Anonymous12:28 pm

    So glad to read this, and I hope you are back :)

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  16. I used to read you earlier. While I never went off the blogging space totally, my writing underwent a crazy graph of highs and lows. This post resonated with me on several fronts. Many of my blogging peers seldom write or have stopped entirely. I do miss the old cozy network, though I'm beginning to find newer people. Welcome back, Rohini!

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  17. Yes.. I was waiting for your next post since days :)

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  18. Hey good to see you back Rohini. I agree with you on a lot of stuff. Yes those days of being unsure are no longer there but I find new challenges with the kids poised on the brink of their preteens. So they offer plenty of writing material!! What I do worry about is the privacy bit - I'm not so comfortable sharing many bits of their lives so I just have become selective about what I write. As for being preachy - leave that to the readers. If they don't like it, they won't come back. Just pour your heart out, we're waiting to read.

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  19. Ro keep writing. Its a nice way for me to connect with what's happening in your life apart from the yearly catch ups..

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    1. There's always Facebook :-)

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  20. I am, I am! And yours is one of the few feedly updates I dont randomly "mark as read" ;) even the rare update is always clicked thru and read, right here on the blog.

    I'm not a mommyblogger but a lot of the blogs I read from "the good old days" and the friends I made are from the lot of mommy bloggers, many of whom dont blog anymore. Relationships and commenting and connections, the entire social space essentially, has moved to facebook and I feel much the same way about flagging blogging mojo. Theres literally about a dozen blogs I care to read anymore, and even fewer who actually indulge me by writing some times. I miss this space. Please blog mroe often, we're reading :)

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    1. Can I please say ditto? When I do go to Feedly, yours is one of the few that I still make it a point to read (and occasionally comment on).

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